ok, so i've had several instances in the last five weeks or so where i thought MAYBE i felt the baby move. but who am i to know...i don't know from experience, obviously, and the best i can do is approximate what it feels like from the descriptions of friends and family who know. most the time, i think i'm just feeling gas. :)
anyway, last night i know for sure i felt the baby move! several times! it's definitely most pronounced and recognizable when i'm lying on my back...and once i felt it, there was no mistaking. that was our baby. moving!
it's pretty amazing...i woke up this morning around 3.30 and was awake for about an hour...and i just laid on my back, waiting for the next kick or jab...i felt about 5 or 6 of them over about 10 minutes...and i can't remember ever feeling more joyful. it really starts to feel real now...there is a human being growing inside me, and it's now not just my growing belly that tells me that. there is LIFE in there.
i was laying there this morning, thinking about how it always comforted me to think that God knew me, knew everything about me, when i was still in my mother's womb...and now, here i am, the mother...and God knows everything about this little life growing inside me...and i don't even know yet if it's a boy or girl, let alone what color eyes or hair...or if he/she will like sports or art...or what his/her favorite color will be...i have all those things ahead of me, to learn...what a blessing. and what an amazing blessing to know that as little as i know about our child, God knows absolutely everything...and he holds the life of this child in his hands. in this moment, as helpless as i am, being stuck on the outside with no view into the womb and no way to communicate with the baby...it's actually really easy to trust that God is taking care of it all...in fact, i don't recall a time in my life when it has been easier to trust God with anything, let alone something so important. so without even being able to hear my voice or know my scent or look into my eyes, this little baby is teaching me how to trust and love God more. i'd say we have a pretty amazing little baby in there...but maybe i'm just biased.
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3 comments:
I love feeling the baby move, its the best experience EVER! I have an anterior placenta so the kicks are more muted, but they are definitely getting more noticeable! I hope you post tomorrow after your u/s, we are waiting to find out which type of friend Baby Boy Benson will have!! :)
yes, dana! in fact, we are hoping to be able to post the actual ultrasound footage...we'll see how that goes :) i'm so excited you guys are having a boy! only about 13 hours to go for us....can't wait!!!
I have your blog open, and will check back all afternoon, waiting for some news! :)
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